Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman
1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. 
2. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices. 
3. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet. 
4. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home. 
5. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it. 
6. When you are done with a Christmas tree, you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away. 
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees. 
8. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day. 
9. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck. 
Why A Christmas Tree Is Better Than A Man
1. A Christmas tree is always erect. 
2. Even small ones give satisfaction. 
3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights. 
4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on. 
5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size. 
6. A Christmas tree has cute balls. 
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls. 
8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its 'sell by' date. 
9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year. 
At Mookie's request, here's a comment.
Posted by: J. Fielek at December 23, 2003 10:39 AM